Not Enough Hands to Hold Me
by herbivore
Summary: The title makes it sound more serious than it is. Just a crack at some Hermione/Draco  and more! , set a few years after the war has ended. Hope you enjoy...reviews very welcome!
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing :) Any _Italics_ you see are thoughts - sometimes I'll just go straight to thoughts and not mention who is thinking them. They're usually the thoughts of the character who was just being discussed. Ie: Draco stopped when he looked at her. _Wow she looks beautiful - did it really take me that long to figure that out?_ - clearly thought by Draco ;)

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><p>Hermione sighed as she opened another folder on her desk. Honestly, she didn't know when the workload was going to end – but she didn't mind too much, it kept her mind off of other things. Well, things pertained to one thing – Ron (and men in general). After their get together post-Voldermort's defeat, she had thought everything would be perfect. The relationship she had waited for would finally happen. However, it didn't take her long to realize that what she thought would happen was idealized. She loved Ron (then and now) but didn't stop to think about whether the relationship would actually work. While he had matured immensely, it still wasn't enough. In absolutely every manner, he couldn't keep up with her. After 5 long years (the first 3 were very enjoyable), their relationship became too strained and they both snapped. Hermione had started spending so much more time at work that she had become extremely close to her supervisor Sirius. She was always very close to him, but their relationship had become a lot more intimate with all those late nights working by candlelight.<p>

One night, Sirius had brought in lots of Butterbeer to celebrate the completion of a particularly difficult case. They both worked for a new division of the Ministry – the Department of Cryptography and Spell Advancement. The cryptography aspect had them encoding, decoding and cracking magical mysteries, where the spell advancement allowed them to devise _new_ spells – specifically, defense spells. They were, if described in one phrase, a cross between the Department of Mysteries and the Department of Defense. It was the most prestigious job anyone in the wizarding world could hold – being an auror or a healer was child's play compared to this. It was hardly a surprise that Hermione scored a place in the department immediately after the completion of her NEWTS. Ron had wanted to join her, but didn't get accepted. She supposed this was another reason for the rift between the two of them. The department was, in fact, very small – it consisted of Hermione, Sirius, Snape, Hannah Abbott, Lupin, Draco Malfoy and Albus Dumbledore – on occasion. No new member had been admitted since Draco, and he had joined 4 years ago. Not even _the _Harry Potter made the cut. It brought about closeness in the elite group and all of them grew to be very good friends. What more could you expect of a group of people who were with each other almost 24/7? Hermione smiled to herself as she thought of the close friendships that she had formed. Sure, Harry and Ron were her "best friends" ('were' being the operative word) but what she shared with everyone here was different. They connected on an intellectual level. And sometimes, more than that. She sighed, her thoughts going back to the night with Sirus and the butterbeer.

They had been working on the case for more than a month – resulting in almost a month of no sleep. Hermione had resorted to sleeping at the office – she couldn't deal with the inevitable fights with Ron when she'd get home late. His jealousy was uncontrollable and frustrated Hermione to no end. She was dating him, why would she cheat? If she wasn't interested anymore, surely she'd just break up with him. Anyway, she and Sirius had just cracked the case and were on a high. With multiple "accio butterbeer,"s they drank as if their lives depended on it. _God it feels good to just let go after so much work. That too with Sirius – he's such a laugh,_ thought Hermione to herself. After a couple more butterbeers, Hermione got out from behind her desk, conjured up a sofa and laid down on it. Sirius joined her, grinning mischievously.

"Lying down are we? It's too early for that! Wait till you see what else I've got…" he began.

"What? No…" her eyes widened with delight as Sirius pulled out a bottle of Firewhisky. It was her favorite and she'd promised to Ron that she'd quit drinking it (she always got a little silly after a few shots). _Alright, it's not like I'm going to do anything stupid – I mean, I've been working so hard – I deserve this!_ With that, she conjured up two shot glasses and within 45 minutes, the bottle was empty. Hermione got up to use the bathroom and when she came back, she found that Sirius had extinguished all the candles except one. She cocked her eyebrow as she walked to the couch and saw Sirius looking at her with the look she knew all too well.

"Quit looking at me like that Black!" she said, teasingly.

"Like what?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

"You know exactly what you're doing, and if you think you're going to get away with it… you are…" she said as her voice trailed off. Sirius barely had time to give her a startled look before her mouth was on his. He paused for a second, and realized that something in the back of his head was telling him what he was doing was wrong. He was drunk, however, and dismissed it immediately – especially as her hands were beginning to wander around his body.

"Woah there Herm, you sure you know what you're doing?" he posed.

"Me? I _always_ know what I'm doing," she said, her voice dripping with innuendo.

"Oh? _Always_? Why don't you prove it then …" Sirius lent forward and started kissing her again…

Hermione shook her head as she dismissed that memory from her head. It was the mistake that led to end of her relationship – though in retrospect, she felt like it wasn't a mistake at all – it was the easy way out. Ron wasn't innocent himself. There had been many a time when Hermione had come home from work and heard the "pop" every wizard/witch associated with apparating. She'd let it slide – with such a heavy workload, coming home to a place where there was someone to hold and ready food felt like heaven. Ron had happened to stop by early at her work, the morning after Hermione and Sirius had spent the night together (they didn't actually sleep _with_ each other, just many kisses, leading to them falling asleep, cuddled, on the couch)– he had honestly intended to come clean and try for a fresh start. One look at the two bodies on the couch sent him into a fit of fury.

"Hermione! What the HELL is this!" he screamed. Hermione woke up, horrified and with a headache. Slowly, memories from the night before came back to her and she cringed inwardly. Magically getting dressed, she grabbed Ron and apparated back home – this was a private matter. When they reached the living room, Ron still stood there fuming. His past adventures had completely left his mind as he thought about the image that lay burned in his brain – Hermione and Sirius.

"Care to explain?" he asked, his voice dangerously calm and his ears dangerously red.

"Well, there isn't much to explain, is there? You saw what you saw, and I'm sure you gathered the correct conclusion," she replied succinctly.

"YOU WHORE! CHEATING, LYING WHORE! ALL THOSE NIGHTS YOU SAID YOU WERE _WORKING LATE_; YOU WERE JUST SLEEPING WITH _HIM_. AND I WAS SO STUPID AS TO ACTUALLY TRUST YOU. YOU DISGUST ME. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?" shouted Ron. He was crying tears of anger and sadness.

"I'm sorry Ron… this is the _only_ time it has happened. I promise, I have been completely faithful to you. I didn't actually _sleep _with him. _Please_, believe me…" Hermione's voice trailed away and silent tears dripped from her eyes. Ron scoffed. "I'm really sorry; I was exhausted and elated from solving my case. There was butterbeer and firewhisky," Ron gave her another glare as she realized that she shouldn't have mentioned the firewhisky, "I'm sorry about that too… please Ron, forgive me…" Ron looked up at her and she knew what he was going to say.

"No. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's cheating. I mean, let's face it – we've not exactly had a smooth ride. Maybe it's time we end it. No, it _is_ time to end it. We're through. Don't talk to me again. I'm going to get my stuff and leave – should have never moved into your flat anyway…" he stated. Hermione started bawling.

"Please, don't go Ron! Please, please, it was just a one time mistake. I love you… please… please" she begged. She ran after him as he walked into the bedroom to pack his things. He shook her off every time she tried to hold him. Within seconds, he had disappeared, and Hermione hadn't talked to him since. Not about making up, his cheating ways or even resuming their friendship.

It certainly hadn't helped that Ron spread the fact that they broke up due to Hermione's cheating. She held her head as high as she could, and dealt with the looks, whispers and contempt from all the other witches and wizards – not to mention her closest friends from Hogwarts. They all sided with Ron and comforted him as he publicly wept. She went home and dealt with it the only way she knew how – by comforting herself. When all else failed, she still had herself. Not that it was easy. She could have gotten some revenge by revealing Ron's cheating but she would never do it. She still loved him and nothing would stop her. _Can it really have been two years since our break up?_ She thought to herself with another sigh and wiped the tears from her eyes. _This is what happens when you stop thinking about work and think about anything else instead._

She looked inside the folder she had opened 30 minutes ago and tried to focus on what it said. Sirius chose that moment to walk into the office and asked Hermione if she had an opinion on the case. She shook her head and asked for a few minutes more. Sirius smiled, nodded and left the room. Their relationship had never developed after that night. Both were drunk, alone, tired, happy and took advantage of that. There wasn't really any _true_ romantic connection between them. It had taken a year but they had resumed their friendship, both acting like that night didn't happen. It wasn't too difficult as no one (other than Ron, who chose not to disclose the information) knew who it was Hermione had cheated with – everyone had assumed it was Malfoy, but he had a solid alibi. After trying to guess for weeks, the public got bored and focused on the newest gossip of the time– the recent Mrs. Neville Longbottom – Luna Lovegood! She shook her head and looked back down at the file.

**Attempts at understanding: 6**

**Level of importance: Dire**

**Notes: -**

Hermione's eyebrows rose as she saw the three lines describing this assignment. She hadn't had a "dire" one for a few months and smiled. The feeling of joy she got after solving them was indescribable. She looked again at "Attempts at understanding: 6" – this meant that everyone else in the department had looked at it and hadn't been able to get anywhere. She turned the page, fingers trembling slightly.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she read what was on the paper. It was an invitation to the Ministry's annual Majestic Ball. She got up and walked into Sirius' office, only to find the entire department in there (with the exception of Albus who was back at Hogwarts).

"Is this a joke?" she asked angrily.

"Not at all my dear – we were all being perfectly serious – no pun intended!" Sirius replied.

"It's been far too long since you've broken up with Ron and it's high time since you had some fun!" added Remus.

"Remus, I'm _not_ ready to be dating again…" said Hermione.

"I'm not talking about dating! Just go out and have some fun. Really Herm, you haven't taken a day off since the break up with Ron – and even on weekends, you spend your time working on cases. Take a break, you need it," he replied.

"Well, at least I wish you didn't put it under "dire" classification!" she said, softening, "You know how excited I get about those!"

"Yeah, that was Sev's idea – he knows how much you love them and we naturally wanted the fastest response," said Hannah.

"Sev, you're lucky you're behind Sirius' desk or I could just about punch you! But not too hard, I bet the whole thing was Albus' idea in the first place" Hermione threatened. Severus shot her a smirk – he had hid himself behind the desk so that she couldn't get him! _Smart ass_ Hermione thought to herself, _I'll get him back later_.

"Well Herm, do we have a response? Are you going to accept your "dire" project? It's going to be fun! We're all going as a group – well, with our dates. And if you want, I can conjure up the Easter Bunny to be your date, he's certainly not going to cause any problem _romantically_!" Sirius grinned. Hermione smiled, she still found it hard to believe that she worked with wizards who were able to joke about things like the _Easter Bunny._ It made her miss her parents and old muggle life just a little less.

"Mission accepted, boss," she acquiesced. "It's not like I have a choice though – but oh gosh, I will need a date. Which one of you is willing to sacrifice yourselves?" All the guys, who had banked on her insisting to go on her own, immediately looked away. Hermione was a dear friend but each was afraid as to how she'd function at the ball. None of them felt that she was ready to go to such a formal, public outing yet – but Albus had insisted, so that was that.

"Sorry Herm, I'm going with Tonks– I mean, she is my wife," said Lupin.

"And me with Hannah!" exclaimed Sirius as he stroked Hannah's hand. They had been going out for almost a year now. In fact, it was because of Hermione that they had got together. Sirius and Hermione had recently patched up and Hannah, noticing this, had asked Hermione to find out if Sirius was interested in seeing anyone (well, seeing her). Sirius, being the guy he is, had naturally said yes – hoping for some "a good night" as he so aptly put it. What he had not counted on was falling for Hannah as hard as he did. It was strange, but nice to see the former playboy tamed.

"Well, that leaves my two favorite Slytherins! Which one of you is up to it?" she asked.

"You don't want to go with boring old me…" began Severus. He hadn't been in a relationship for a while (if 'while' was synonymous with ever) and didn't know how to treat a woman at a ball. Being her best friend, he wanted nothing but the best for her – and knew that going with Draco would provide a much more pleasurable experience.

"Draco?" Hermione asked almost pleadingly. She was surprised at how eager her friends were to not be her date – especially Severus. They had grown so close over the few years – Severus had found someone who shared the same ability and passion for potions and Hermione had found someone who was genuinely interested in everything she had to say – even SPEW. They would spend hours just talking – though a bulk of it was about work – they were Hermione's (and Severus') favorite parts of the week.

"It would be my pleasure," replied Draco, rather shocking himself. He was rather fond of his favorite muggle-born and couldn't wait to see her enjoy herself again. He realized it was rather silly for all the guys to abandon her; it wouldn't be like a real date. He was there for friendly support and if anyone needed it, it was Hermione.

"Oh thanks thanks THANKS Draco!" Hermione screamed with glee. Everyone in the room was slightly taken aback. It was strange, but comforting, to see Hermione so excited about something other than work. No one seemed to remember that she used to be like this all the time before the problems with Ron began.

"I'll pick you up at 7 tomorrow then?" he asked.  
>"7? Tomorrow?" questioned Hermione as she looked at the invitation. It was for 730 pm tomorrow. She sighed as she began thinking about all the clothes she <em>didn't <em>have to wear for such a formal occasion. "Alright Malfoy, don't be late! Well, it seems I have a date tomorrow and as it's the end of the day, I think I'll retire for the night!" Hermione walked (skipped) out of the room, her head filled with many ideas as to what to conjure for tomorrow.

"Gosh that was easy," Severus smiled. "I didn't think she'd crack so easily. I was fully prepared for an hours worth of combat!"

"Well Sev, that shows you how well you know her – she's clearly been lonely and needed this push to do something about it. Though I wish we hadn't waited so long – it was high time that Herm got to enjoy her life," replied Draco casually.

"Either way, mission "Majestic Balls" – great codename Draco – was a success. Hopefully she won't get too upset when she runs into Weasel-face tomorrow, he's bound to be there. It's your job, Draco, to make sure she feels great," said Sirius. Sirius' relationship with the Weasleys and his godson had become strained after the Hermione/Ron split – he had naturally sided with Hermione. Draco looked at him as if he had just stated something as obvious as "The summoning spell is "Accio."" "Well, it's time for me to retire too," he resumed, picked up his bag, grabbed Hannah's hand and left. Lupin followed suit and left the two Slytherins in Sirius' office.

"Well, who would have thought, Draco Malfoy, going on a date with a muggle born, I'm proud of you my boy!" smiled Snape. Draco nodded, thinking of how beautiful Hermione had looked on the night of the Yule Ball, and walked out of the room, leaving Severus on his own. _Tomorrow night is certainly going to be eventful_, he thought to himself as he walked out of the office and apparated back to his apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day

Hermione woke up with a start as she heard knocking on her door and looked at the time – 12:30. _Wow, I haven't slept till that late in forever!_

"Hold on, I'm coming!" she exclaimed as she brushed her teeth, got dressed and ran to the door. She opened it to find Severus holding lunch in his hand.

"Miss Granger, you didn't forget about our Saturday lunches did you?" he asked. "From the looks of it, you clearly did…just woke up?" he grinned.

"Shut up Sev, I _did_ just wake up – there's nothing wrong with that!" she replied. "Make yourself comfortable while I go take a quick shower," she motioned for him to come in and retreated to her bathroom. Severus nodded, put the sandwiches down on the center table and sat down on the couch. He heard the water in the shower go on and smiled – it was so out of character for Hermione to be, well, unprepared/late for anything, and he quite liked it. He suddenly felt a little shabby and ran to the full length mirror in the next room and stared at himself. _Huh, not too bad Sev_, he thought to himself. He was dressed in muggle clothing – a fitted black t-shirt and jeans. Well, the shirt was hidden underneath his mass of a jumper. _Well, at least there isn't a mass of hair too!_ He had cut it a few years ago, and it vaguely resembled a shorter version of Potter's hairstyle, though much more groomed and looked a lot nicer. He ran his fingers through it, styling it slightly. _What are you doing? Are you fixing your hair?_ He stopped and walked back to his seat on the couch. He wondered what was taking Hermione so long as he glanced down at his watch. It read 12:36. He laughed to himself – despite their "bro"-like relationship, Hermione _was_ a girl, and he knew that it was impossible for a girl to be done with a shower in 4 minutes. He put his feet up on the table and stretched back a bit, reaching for the remote. Turning the TV on, he saw 'Doctor Who' was on, and wondered if he'd seen the episode before. The haunting music that was playing made him realize that he had seen this episode many times – it was 'Doomsday'. While he refused to admit this to anyone, this was one of his favorite episodes of the show – the acting, music, story, everything. The first time he had seen this episode, he teared up a little, only a _little_. _Well, at least you cry less every time you see it, _he thought to himself, as he became thoroughly absorbed in the episode. There was something about being separated from true love that really hit home with him.

Hermione got out of the shower, got dressed again, and walked out into the living room – only to find Severus watching Doctor Who. She smiled to herself - she had almost forgotten that he, like her, came from a very muggle background. She flopped herself down on the couch next to him and said.

"Doctor Who, Sev? Which episode is it?" When Severus didn't respond, she looked at his face and started giggling at the watery tears that had begun to form on his face. "Are you crying?" she shrieked with laughter. Severus jumped back into reality and wiped his tears off with a flash.

"No… why would I cry over a silly TV show?" he asked, praying that Hermione wouldn't do what she usually did – gnaw on a joke till there was no meat left on it.

"Right… awww Sev I didn't know you loved the Doctor and Rose! I personally prefer the Doctor and Donna – it's a refreshing taste to see someone who isn't totally in love with him!" she stated.

"Don't you start, the Doctor and Rose were in love – _are_ in love and they're meant to be together forever!" he exclaimed. Hermione started laughing louder – she had not expected Snape to be such a Doctor Who fan, especially of the Doctor-Rose pairing.  
>"Aww you're so adorable!" she said as she pinched his cheek, "I didn't know you were such a DW fan! I'm pleasantly surprised. Though I can't believe I just caught you crying over the Doctor and Rose. This is bloody precious! Wait till I tell everyone about it!"<p>

"Hermione," he said with a deadly serious look on his face, "Please don't. It will totally ruin my manly reputation – you know, crying over a tv show…"

"Manly? You?" she laughed harder as she punched him in the arm, "I'm probably more of a dude than you. And stronger too, I see," as she saw Snape recoil in pain from the punch.

"Right, is this going to be a 'let's make fun of Severus Snape' lunch? Because if so, I don't think I want to partake, so if you'll excuse me, I'll be off – _with_ my food," started Severus.

"Don't be silly, I was just joking," she smiled as she tore open the white bag with her name on it. "What sandwich am I going to have today?" Her face fell with disappointment as she saw a salad. "The hell is this?"

"Well, you have a date today – aren't girls supposed to weight conscious or something? So I thought I'd get you a salad," he smirked.

"Are you telling me I _need_ to be weight conscious?" she asked. If she was a cartoon, steam would be coming out her ears.

"Not really, I just wanted to see your reaction! Now that I'm satisfied, here's your real lunch!" he replied as he tossed her a cheese and cucumber sandwich. "So, how are you feeling about tonight?"

"Well, I haven't really thought about it – I mean, it should be fine. But what if Ron's there? I mean, we haven't seen each other in two years. And of course Ron will be there. He's Harry Potter's bloody best friend and Harry would die rather than miss such a public event. I don't know, I've forgotten how to dress up and look pretty. Not that I can look that pretty in the first place. Oh gosh, I'm rambling. But I can't stop rambling! I guess it didn't really hit me until now. Oh bloody hell, why did I agree to this stupid ball?" she said without taking a breath in.

"Hermione, breathe," he said gently, "naturally you're nervous. It's fine! Perfectly natural – in fact, I'd be concerned if you weren't nervous. Though you should have taken the easy way out by going on your own, like me. Don't have to deal with people talking about your date, and the likes of that."  
>"Yeah, but this is the first time I'm showing my face in public. Hermione Granger – the cheating scumbag of a war hero. I'll have to face Harry, Ginny, Lavender, Fred, the rest of them and …<em>him<em>…" she said softly.

"Hey, don't talk about yourself like that," his voice rising slightly, "what happened between you and Weasel-fart," Hermione giggled, "is between the two of you. When you go there tonight, everyone will look at you for who you are – an unbelievably intelligent, beautiful, kind, passionate lady. Thoughts of that incident will be long forgotten. I mean, if you're super scared, I guess you could chicken out. But then that's not at all like the Hermione Granger I know. Not trying something because she was too afraid of the consequences? What about that time when you nearly cursed your left hand off while experimenting?"

Hermione smiled. Though their conversations occasionally got really deep, the strength of their bond shone through Snape's little speech. Gone was the angry potions master – and here, in his stead, was a dear friend.  
>"Thanks Sev, you always know what to say. Anyway," she aptly changed the subject while munching into her sandwich, "Don't you ever feel like going with someone? Hah, Severus Snape with a date – that almost defies belief. Pretend I didn't even ask you that question." Severus nodded, he was perfectly happy being alone. His love still belonged to Lily Evans, and it always would. He always felt Lily there with him, in his heart – regardless of whether she was a figment of his imagination, she provided a great deal of comfort to him. He didn't need anyone else. Though, for a fraction of a second, he felt her presence decrease slightly. He panicked, and instantly, she returned. He sank back down into the couch and carried on talking to Hermione.<p>

They talked until 4, when Hermione suddenly realized the time. She pushed him out the door and proceeded to get ready. Well, tried to. She stood herself in front of the mirror (the very same that Severus had used) and gave herself a long, piercing stare. Her body was still shapely – though she had thinned a bit (work even took precedence over eating). Her hair was a mess, however. It was back to, what everyone referred to as, "2nd year Herm-hair." Unruly, curly and growing everywhere. _Something has to be done about this,_ she thought. She pulled out her wand from her back-trouser pocket – the endless lectures Moody had given her and Harry hadn't really worked on her – and started straightening her hair. With a quick charm, her hair was as straight as a pin. _Huh, not that nice. _She ran her hands through her hair, making the straightness look more natural and decided that she'd go for something casual yet sophisticated. She worked and worked with her wand till she achieved the look she was going for – loose curls, with her hair parted more to the side than usual. _Perfect. Though I hope the parting doesn't change – it feels weird having so much of my hair flipped to the right._ As the thought entered her mind, she cast a long-lasting charm on her hair (it was the wizarding equivalent of applying hair spray – though it lasted infinitely longer -8 hours and only _then_ did the effects start wearing off). _Casual but not too casual. Love it!_ She smiled, impressed with her handiwork. She looked at the clock and realized that it was 5:30 and she still had nothing to wear!

Hermione ransacked her closet and realized that she truly had _nothing_ to wear. Luck was on her side, as the wizarding society had adopted the muggle tradition of tuxedos and formal dresses for events such as the Majestic Ball – muggle dresses were so much easier to conjure! *Poof* She tried on a dress that was the same purple color of her 4th year Yule Ball dress. _Too yesteryear_. *Poof* A stunning yellow dress – very similar to the one Kate Hudson wore in How to lose a guy in 10 days. _Oh Kate, you looked so stunning in this, I can't hold a candle to you_. *Poof*^~28. At the 31'st *Poof*, Hermione found the dress she was going to wear. It was a simple strapless bright turquoise dress – with a sweetheart neckline. (Think Laundry collection style – for those muggle dress lovers!) She smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror. _This is it. Damn, I look good!_ She took the dress off, laid it on her bed and went back to the mirror to apply her makeup. She applied the smallest amount of eyeliner – barely visible, and dabbed on some silver eye shadow – just to add a hint of sparkle to her eyes. With a final touch of mascara, she was done. Hermione wasn't big on makeup and knew she could afford to be so. Putting the dress back on, Hermione put on her favorite 4 inch grey heels. _And now onto my last, and favorite step!_ She thought excitedly. Jewelry had always been Hermione's weakness! To go with today's theme of turquoise and silver, she picked out a silver chain with a diamond pendant. Well, it wasn't actually diamond, but when one had a wand at their disposal, any stone could be transformed to like it was something much more desirable. She chose suitable earrings and a silver bangle and put everything she needed in a little silver clutch, and stood back and looked at herself.

_You're actually doing this Hermione! Don't think about Ronald, or anything else. You're going there with your friends – and with Draco 'Gorgeous' Malfoy as your date. Worst comes to worst, you can always just hang out with Sev in the shadows, making fun of everyone there! And you know Ron's mouth is going to drop when he sees you looking like this. You're Hermione Granger and a little fun isn't going to kill you._


End file.
